Let Ego Go, Bro

Everyone can see through it

Life is hard, and we as humans like to make it even harder.

Men, especially…

We build up ego, and we guard it with everything

It’s comical, we create this massive ego and build these imaginary walls up all around ourselves, thinking as if nobody can see right through them. Sure you might be fooling some people. But really, this pattern is just limitation…

We do this with our jobs, our material items, our health… the list goes on and on.

Let me give you my personal example…

For the last couple of months, and even extended back some time before that (years), I wasn’t exactly feeling like myself… I was fucking exhausted tired, had very little motivation, and just knew I wasn’t getting the most out of life.

Deep down I knew what the issue was, and I was doing my best to cover it up, and act like it wasn’t affecting me. Partly out of necessity (because life doesn’t stop for your problems), yep sometimes life is hard, and you’re gonna have to stop being a bitch. But also mostly out of ego… I didn’t want to have to deal with deep down, what I already knew the issue was. I kept covering it up…

So in my earlier 20s, I was a high level powerlifter, on a local level, I was damn good. Then I got to the world’s stage, and got my ass kicked… Needless to say, I could see everything in front of me I had to do to get to that top level, to be the cream of the crop, and I just knew then and there, this was no longer for me. (and I was very okay with that)

I was already eating my ass off, I was training hard, and yes, I was taking the drugs (steroids). The wear and tear was adding up, I was feeling run down, and I just knew I wasn’t willing to take it to the next level. So as much as I loved it, I decided to step back from powerlifting, and focus on a healthier version of myself.

This is where I ran into the problem, I wanted to come off anabolics. So I had a doc help me, and after a while, I was eventually off. The last time I used any anabolics was April of 2020. For a long time, I thought I was good… My energy returned to fairly normal (some ups and downs in there.) I certainly got a lot healthier. Lost like 50 ish pounds. Cardio shape got way better, and my joints and body started feeling a lot better.

But then… after a while, things started to not go so well… I was having all sorts of problems with motivation, working out, and even when I would work out, I couldn’t recover properly, and it was turning into a real mess… achy joints, to the point I would get so tired my hands would hurt. Muscle soreness was ridiculously high for days on end… and yeah, abnormal response to exercise. Needless to say, I had a problem.

I had heard this story many times before, and I just didn’t want to believe that it could happen to me… so I avoided the doctor (the truth)

This is where ego came in… I didn’t want to believe I had a problem, because as a trainer I am supposed to be the guy with the solutions… I wasn’t really unhappy with the way I looked, I was still very strong (can still deadlift 500+), even not training much, and I just was using mountain bikes and dirt bikes as my excuse for not being able to train (knowing that weight training would improve riding mountain bikes and dirt bikes).

But here is the thing, I was avoiding the truth because I knew, it would require me to change, to step up. Even though I wasn’t unhappy with the way I looked, I was genuinely unhappy with the way I felt. I just didn’t want anyone else to know that. Because I was still strong, and still looked okay, it made it easier to cover it up.

Zest for life wasn’t there like it was, and I was falling asleep at every down moment of the day, because I was absolutely exhausted. Life demand was cooking me, the things that were supposed to be filling my cup, were draining it. So I wasn’t always able to be the Man, the Husband, the Dad, the Trainer, or the Friend I wanted to be, even when I was trying so hard to be.

So… I share this story to say… I finally let my ego go, and I went to the doc, I got bloodwork, and I got help. Yes, men can get help lololol. And here is what happened, the bloodwork came back and confirmed exactly what I already knew to be true…

The truth is, I had low testosterone. (Total Test Was Low, Free Test Was Nearly Nothing) All my other bloodwork was top notch though, so I was stoked on that. (Good health habits go a long way)

Doc gave me a protocol to get me right (and no he didn’t even sell me on TRT), although with my health history, it was certainly an option, but not the route I wanted to go. I told doc what I wanted, and that I would follow his recommendations. So that I have done, and I can’t tell you how much better I am feeling… SO SO SO, much better.

Thanks Doc Troy (you’re the man)

and I am not writing this to anyone to sell you on going to a doctor, tell you a woe is me story, or even tell you to go get bloodwork…

I am sharing my story, to share letting go of your ego… breaking down the walls you have put up, and allowing yourself to be truthful. Not only to those around you, but really yourself.

It’s also not to encourage you to go air out all your dirty laundry to everyone around you, some problems are meant for sharing, some are meant for private. All are meant for solving to the best of our ability.

Life is already really hard, lack of vulnerability, or willingness to admit where we suck, is not helping, it is just making life harder.

The wrap up of ego is not adding to Man, it is subtracting from it.

Problems in life come in abundance, and many different shapes and sizes, financially, relationally, family, health, etc.. the list goes on.

I am not sure what the problems are everyone is facing, but I am sure letting go of our ego is a massive step in the right direction to solving them.

Letting go of the self will be a massive step forward toward transcendence.

-Coach G

Also to note, I do not regret the years of taking steroids, even as they have caused me some issues down the road. I know I took them for good reason (at the time). But I highly discourage the use of steroids. This topic has been taboo for too long. If anyone needs help with this avenue, please consult your doctor. I am not a physician.